The first born gets the awesome privilege of being first at everything. They come into this world adored and every moment is recorded with awe. By the time you get to that second, third, and so on you have a little less awe and much more wisdom. So here we are with our first born taking another baby step to becoming an adult; the first date!
Our oldest son, Trevor, is going on his first "date" tonight. Let me start by saying that in our home we have some pretty strict rules on "dating". First, your relationship with God must come first and be evident. Second, you must have a job as girls are expensive, and I am NOT paying for your dates. Third, you must involve other people, and lastly you must ask her parents permission to take out their daughter.
So here I am writing this blog and confessing that two out of four isn't bad... Yes he did call and ask her parents for permission, and yes we are going along on this "date". So why are we allowing this when he isn't following the rules. I honestly don't know! As this relationship as developed we have seen a change him, one from selfishness to that of protector. It has me curious to say the least.
I had a long talk with him and told him that if she was the one that God has for him then we needed to know her. I explained that he had two weeks to set up a time for us to take her to dinner and get to know her. To my shock and horror he actually listened! I know, I know...
It is less than an hour and half before Skipp and I take him over to pick her up and I find myself nervous. I am sure not as nervous as he is, but nervous none the less. Is this really happening? Is my son the kind of guy who can handle this? Is this really a big deal? What is my role in all of this? There are many more questions that I don't have the answer to but this I know; I have listened to God and Skipp in this situation and I trust them both, even with my first born son.
I have prayed for this child who is fast becoming a man and I believe with my all my heart that this relationship is God's will for Trevor. What is my role in all of this? That is a question I am seeking God in daily and here is what I have come up with. First, to keep God in the center of everything! Through joy, and pain, blessing and trial, I will keep our Savior in the middle of our lives by prayer, petition, thanksgiving, and obedience. Second, I am to protect him from devastating choices not everyday brain farts! What I mean by that is I have to let him fail in things that don't matter and allow him to learn the lessons that God has for him. I am not to protect him so much that God can't use his failure to make him into the man he wants. Third, I must be kind and loving to anyone that he chooses to bring into our family no matter what! She must see Jesus in me and I have to treat her the way I want to be treated. Finally, I must surrender and trust God with him everyday and in everyway!
This is part one of what I assume will be two parts. By tonight many of my nerves will be calmed and these baby steps will be a thing of the past but the lessons I learn tonight will be for many future events! Help me Jesus with this and every baby step.... (to be continued)
Our oldest Michael didn't start dating until he turned 18 The first girl was not the one and he learned hard that he needed to wait to date until he knew that he was dating the girl God had for him. We do believe that the girl he is dating now is the one but we still put down some rules since he is still living in our house and have the right as parents to do so. The good thing is that we hang with her parents and they have the same rules and we argee that a marraige will not happen until they both have graduated college and can support themselves. In the meantime they have to be in church unless scheduled to work and a life group is a must! We only have our kids at home for a short while so we try and instill the godly values we want them to follow and will in time hopefully do the same for their children! Free will is tough when they become of age but we trust that we instilled in them the word of God and they will not depart from it! If they do, we trust that God's hand will be upon them and He will guide them back! Okay sorry for the soap box! Not sure where it came from! Know that we are with ya and will be praying for you and Skipp as you take your first born through the road of dating and relationships!
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