I've Fallen and I Can't Get Back Up!

I don’t know if you have noticed that as you age sitting down on the floor is not the problem. The problems incurs when it is time to rise and move from that spot. The knees ache, the back gets sore; your bones creak like the floor of an old house. As I have aged slightly (I am still a young chick; in my mind at least) I have noticed that I tend to avoid the posture of sitting on the floor. Is it because I do not enjoy sitting on the floor? I rather do enjoy sitting around on the floor, just hanging out. It is when the getting up has gotten harder that I find myself sitting less.

In the bible we see Mary sitting at Jesus feet. Now there are truly more ramifications of that moment than I tend to tear into at this time, but I am captured by her position. In her day sitting at the feet of a teacher was akin to going to college. You were not chosen by your school you were chosen by your teacher. Did I mention she was a girl?? In the time that Mary was in the world women were not chosen to learn anything other than “women’s work”. It would have been earth-shattering in that day for a woman to be at the feet of any Rabbi or teacher.

Although I am captured by the thought of how progressive this was at the time again I go back to the whole sitting posture. There she is, sitting as Jesus’ feet; leaning on every word he spoke. As though time matter not, where her whole world stopped. It wasn’t like there was a ton to do that day in her house. Obviously if God is coming over for dinner you want to make a good impression. We all know about Martha in the kitchen seething as her sister is just sitting there.

Is Mary with so much work to be done wrong in her posture? Being a Martha in my own right I used to get a little ticked off at how Mary, just sitting there, was praised. Then it hit me! BAM! That was it, right there in my own phrasing… Mary was sitting. She wasn’t distracted, she wasn’t worried, she wasn’t anxious, she wasn’t planning, and she wasn’t caught up in her own world. What she was doing however was allowing Jesus to teach her, and in that posture she was worshiping.

In her own body posture she was “doing”; doing the work of the Lord by spending time with Jesus. I have found the longer I walk with Jesus the less I have gotten down on the floor so to speak, and spent time at his feet. There is always someone to take care of, a sermon to watch, people to reach, and don’t you know it is all up to me! Somewhere in my every day comings and goings I forgot my life is about sitting at Jesus feet. If everything I do is done out of the strength that I gain in those moments then why don’t I do it more often?

That is where I am at in my life. I found myself at the end of all hope that I can do it by myself. I need Jesus so much just to be a functional human being. I have to have days of rest, nights of sleep, and long moments sitting as His feet; listening to His instructions. I am not strong in myself, I am not together in myself, and I am not capable in myself. It is only by sitting at His feet that I am strong, together, and capable.

Do you know why getting up is harder as you age? Simply because you stop using the muscles you used to use in getting up. It is a vicious cycle… Sit down more and getting up will actually get easier. Just like spending time with Jesus more makes your whole life worth living. Blessings!

Whoever Speaks it, Stinks it

I live in a house all "dudes" except for our little dog Nyla. Being the only two legged female in the house I have come to realize that I have subtly become immune to things that previously grossed me out. When I was a young woman, raised by a single mom, in a female world I held certain ideals about life. For example everyone thinks in "feeling" words, and everyone is embarrassed by the body eliminating gas from it. The reality some 20 years later is in fact "dudes" do not think in feeling words and gas is something of a spontaneous eruption of laughter from the entire company. In our house we have a game, please Ladies hang with me for just a moment, that when one passes gas they do not confess to it. When the time comes that everyone in the room is suddenly aware of the corrosive odor the task of assigning the assailant begins.

In the chaos that ensues usually the offender of the noxious odor will yell, “Whoever smelt it, dealt it!” of “Whoever speaks it, stinks it”. What should be completely offensive to me have become fun and a source of laughter!  In recent months I have been moving through a process called Humility. It has been gut wrenching and made me see the last season of my life in a different light. I have always been prideful, and have seen life through the lens of how life affects me. What should have been offensive to me became a joke, what should have sent me to the Cross kept me hidden in shadows. I had allowed myself to become immune to things that should have grossed me out. This process of desensitization happens gradually especially in the culture of church leadership.

Humility vs. Pride is a battle that our culture has become gripped with and yet many of us are rooting for the wrong side. Humility is not natural, it is not easy and it must become central to ever Believers life. Pride is natural, it is how we are born, and the lens we most often view our lives through.

Humility says, “I need God”. If you have become a Christian then you had a moment of humility when you asked Jesus to be the Lord of your life. Can you be a Christian and be prideful? Absolutely! Pride is so great at hiding itself in the mask of humility that it is often hard to see; even in one’s self. In recent years I enjoyed the first half of the book by Andrew Murray called simply, Humility. In this book written in the late 1800’s Mr. Murray speaks of how easy it is to think of oneself as humble when actually our own emotions are threaded with pride.

Jesus is the perfect picture of humility, correct? Did Jesus ever think of himself as better than anyone in scripture? Did Jesus come to be served, or did Jesus ever feel entitled to anything? Did Jesus think of himself as a door mat? Did Jesus demand the respect of others? Did Jesus do anything independent of God the Father?  Did Jesus demand anything other than the proper view and worship of God the Father?

Pride is demanding, haughty, entitled, and independent. I have found myself demanding, haughty, entitled, and independent therefore I am prideful. Pride says, “God cannot do what he said he would do therefore you must make it happen.”

Humility is aiding and quiet, unassuming, grateful, and completely dependent. Jesus was completely dependent on the Father, he was aiding of the Father, and he took nothing for himself, and died an unassuming death. Death’s desire was to hold him but the power of the resurrection raised him from the dead and he sits at the right hand of the father. Jesus is gloriously humble. How do we wrap ourselves around this concept while being held hostage in the lens of pride. So here is where I am at practically:

1.       Know who God is, and know who I am IN God.

2.       Accept that I am due nothing but a life apart from God but I accept his gift of grace

3.       Everything I have is directly from God and be grateful for everything; including suffering

4.       This is His-Story, not mine, therefore I will do what he purposes

5.       My life is not about the epic mountain top experiences, but it is about the people God places in my everyday comings and goings

 

 

There are many other lessons I am learning but let me leave you with one final thought. God doesn’t force me to grow; he invites me to know him deeper. It is my choice to stay where I am or to move closer. I can direct my attentions towards him and away from him. God is always there, always desires our attention, but will never force us. He is gentle, and gracious. He is slow to anger and abounding in love. Pride tells me walking with God is wrought with difficulties, which are seldom worth the effort, and that everything is fine just like it is. Pride is a constant pull in self-sufficiency while humility is a constant invitation to dependency.

 

Just like I can be in a “dude” dominated home and play along with the guys I know that when something “stinkith” it is most often I. That “I” in pride will tell me it is always someone else’s fault. The next time I smell the lie of independence, blame, and entitlement I will say “Whoever speaks it, stinks it” and allow God to heal my heart once again, and bring me back to the place of humility.