I live in a house all "dudes" except for our
little dog Nyla. Being the only two legged female in the house I have come to
realize that I have subtly become immune to things that previously grossed me
out. When I was a young woman, raised by a single mom, in a female world I held
certain ideals about life. For example everyone thinks in "feeling"
words, and everyone is embarrassed by the body eliminating gas from it. The
reality some 20 years later is in fact "dudes" do not think in
feeling words and gas is something of a spontaneous eruption of laughter from
the entire company. In our house we have a game, please Ladies hang with me for
just a moment, that when one passes gas they do not confess to it. When the
time comes that everyone in the room is suddenly aware of the corrosive odor
the task of assigning the assailant begins.
In the chaos that ensues usually the offender of the noxious
odor will yell, “Whoever smelt it, dealt it!” of “Whoever speaks it, stinks it”.
What should be completely offensive to me have become fun and a source of
laughter! In recent months I have been
moving through a process called Humility. It has been gut wrenching and made me
see the last season of my life in a different light. I have always been
prideful, and have seen life through the lens of how life affects me. What
should have been offensive to me became a joke, what should have sent me to the
Cross kept me hidden in shadows. I had allowed myself to become immune to
things that should have grossed me out. This process of desensitization happens
gradually especially in the culture of church leadership.
Humility vs. Pride is a battle that our culture has become
gripped with and yet many of us are rooting for the wrong side. Humility is not
natural, it is not easy and it must become central to ever Believers life.
Pride is natural, it is how we are born, and the lens we most often view our
lives through.
Humility says, “I need God”. If you have become a Christian
then you had a moment of humility when you asked Jesus to be the Lord of your
life. Can you be a Christian and be prideful? Absolutely! Pride is so great at
hiding itself in the mask of humility that it is often hard to see; even in one’s
self. In recent years I enjoyed the first half of the book by Andrew Murray
called simply, Humility. In this book written in the late 1800’s Mr.
Murray speaks of how easy it is to think of oneself as humble when actually our
own emotions are threaded with pride.
Jesus is the perfect picture of humility, correct? Did Jesus
ever think of himself as better than anyone in scripture? Did Jesus come to be
served, or did Jesus ever feel entitled to anything? Did Jesus think of himself
as a door mat? Did Jesus demand the respect of others? Did Jesus do anything independent
of God the Father? Did Jesus demand
anything other than the proper view and worship of God the Father?
Pride is demanding, haughty, entitled, and independent. I
have found myself demanding, haughty, entitled, and independent therefore I am
prideful. Pride says, “God cannot do what he said he would do therefore you
must make it happen.”
Humility is aiding and quiet, unassuming, grateful, and
completely dependent. Jesus was completely dependent on the Father, he was
aiding of the Father, and he took nothing for himself, and died an unassuming
death. Death’s desire was to hold him but the power of the resurrection raised
him from the dead and he sits at the right hand of the father. Jesus is
gloriously humble. How do we wrap ourselves around this concept while being
held hostage in the lens of pride. So here is where I am at practically:
1.
Know who God is, and know who I am IN God.
2.
Accept that I am due nothing but a life apart
from God but I accept his gift of grace
3.
Everything I have is directly from God and be
grateful for everything; including suffering
4.
This is His-Story, not mine, therefore I will do
what he purposes
5.
My life is not about the epic mountain top
experiences, but it is about the people
God places in my everyday comings and goings
There are many other lessons I am learning
but let me leave you with one final thought. God doesn’t force me to grow; he
invites me to know him deeper. It is my choice to stay where I am or to move
closer. I can direct my attentions towards him and away from him. God is always
there, always desires our attention, but will never force us. He is gentle, and
gracious. He is slow to anger and abounding in love. Pride tells me walking
with God is wrought with difficulties, which are seldom worth the effort, and
that everything is fine just like it is. Pride is a constant pull in self-sufficiency
while humility is a constant invitation to dependency.
Just like I can be in a “dude” dominated home
and play along with the guys I know that when something “stinkith” it is most
often I. That “I” in pride will tell me it is always someone else’s fault. The
next time I smell the lie of independence, blame, and entitlement I will say “Whoever
speaks it, stinks it” and allow God to heal my heart once again, and bring me
back to the place of humility.
